Just in case you missed any. I know I added a bunch at once. There’s an order, hopefully you’ll figure it out. Hint: 1, then 2, then 3, and so on…
Stage 1 | Stage 2 | Stage 3 | Stage 4 | Stage 5 | Stage 6 | Stage 7 | Stage 9 |
Stage 8 – Reality
I’ll admit that I wasn’t quite on-board with Chastity. As much as I was able to move on with some semblance of my life, despite the overstayed welcomes of DrinkEveryDropOfAlcohol and NeverEatNeverLoveAgain, I was still clinging to whatever Elation had left behind, and had little intention of buying into something so completely as to what Chastity had to offer.
Denial was too much of a ridiculous jackass to really ever take seriously, but that didn’t stop Reality from making his memorable visit. I fully admit, I had no intention of ever ignoring him, should he decide to stop by, but I most certainly didn’t expect him to act the way he did.
Reality is a cold, hard, brutally-efficient guy, and his visit was the best, and the worst, of any I’d had.
. . .
(watching him walk in) “Oh, hey. I was wondering when you were going t?”
*smack*
“OW! What was that for?!?”
You need to know that I am here now.
“What are you, the fucking Terminator? Who are you to go around doing that shit? I saw you come in, motherfucker, no need to be smackin’ a bruthah.”
*smack* *smack*
THAT one was because you obviously didn’t feel the very first one. The second one was because you called yourself a ‘bruthah’ you white piece of shit.
(rubbing cheek) “Fine. I’m cool. No need for any of that, okay?”
ARE you cool? Are you ‘fine’? Where are you at, anyway?
“I’m fine, seriously. The Girl is going to be fine, she’s strong, she’s independent, she’s good at taking care of herse?”
*smack*
Would YOU be fine, motherfucker? Would you be ‘fine’ if she told you that you guys weren’t working out and, oh-by-the-way, she was in love with a married man because of some crazy-fucked-up moment they shared?
“I don’t? I’m not?”
Have you thought about what she’s going through, you assmonkey?!?
“She? She says she’ll be fine, and I? Don’t hit me again? but? I believe her.”
Don’t lose sight of her, you selfish shitbag. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you’ve been something good in her life for a majority of your adulthood. You forget that, and I’m going to come back with my bat. Believe it, fucker.
“Damn, dude. You’re harsh. I’ve been good to the Girl, at least I’ve tried to be, don’t go treatin’ me like I’m forgettin’ her n’ shit.”
(winds up, hesitates, puts hand down) Dude, you SO deserved another one for keeping up with that ‘ghetto’ shit. You’re white, deal with it.
“Yeah? I’m drunk too, and ‘ghet-toe’ is funny.”
You don’t need funny right now.
“How the fuck do you know? I’m funny. I’m going to be fine. I’ve got some shit straight, and I’ll get better at what I don’t.”
Hmm. Well said, dipshit. By ‘shit straight’ do you mean your feelings for MarriedGirl maybe? Where are you at with all that?
“Interesting you should ask, because I’m cool? uh? seriously? I’m? Oh, FUCK, I think I’m still in love wi?”
*Smack*
(rubbing jaw) “I REALLY wish you would stop doing that!”
(shrugs) I’ll stop doing it when you start accepting that I’m here.
“I accept, I accept.” (works jaw back and forth) “You’ve more than made your point.”
Have I? You just admitted that you are still in love with a woman who is happily married. Someone who is with the person that they are meant to be with. Someone that’s made it clear that they are with who they are meant to be with. Are you feeling this way because you feel it is YOU who are not with the person you are meant to be with?
“Well? shit. Maybe. Shit man, I don’t know WHO I’m supposed to be with! If I was supposed to be with MarriedGirl, she wouldn’t be ‘MarriedGirl’ would she?”
(pause) Stop flinching. To be honest, that one was pretty damn accurate. Idiot.
“Really? Cool. No more hitting okay?”
I’m not here just to smack you around, I hope you believe that.
“Yeah? Tell that to my jaw, that fucker hurts.”
Hey man, all I’m really asking is that you lay off the whole ‘we belong together’ bit. Get a hold of that one, good and firm, and I’ll leave you alone.
“Hey, who’s to say that we don’t belong togeth?”
*SMACK*
“Owwww! I was just going to SAY, that who’s to say that we don’t belong together? Maybe things are just off-kilter in the Univer?”
*SMACK-O*
(picking myself up from behind the couch) “Dude, you really got me with that last one. I think I may have a good idea of what you’re talking about now, despite how my face feels. If we BELONGED together, we’d BE together, right? Right.”
(hand raised) You’re? not just saying that to get me to stop smacking you are you? Because I know when you need a good whack, and I’m always going to be there to do it.
(wiping away tear AGAIN) “No? No, I think I’m getting it. It’s just? when it’s something that both parties involved want so badly, why can’t it happen?”
Want? HA! Want isn’t any of my business. Want is something that you have to deal with on your own. I’m just here to keep you from getting too far ahead of yourself.
“Man. That really sucks.”
Not my call. I reiterate: I am just here to keep you from going off the deep-end. Acceptance is coming soon, and he’ll help you out from there.
“Shit, dude, you’re a cold fucker.”
I am what I am. It’s up to you to deal with it.
Reality’s right, of course. It’s up to me to recognize it and deal with it because, regardless of what I have at my disposal to deal with it, I have to find a way to do exactly that.
He’s by no means warm and fuzzy, and that’s something that I’m learning very painfully, but this is something that I’m sure I’ll retain through all of this.
Reality is cold and hard, sometimes painfully cruel, but is always, always there, and he will not be ignored, no matter how hard I try.
He’s a real fucker, Reality, and there are times that I hate him more than all the others combined.