Booger Jade
March 14, 2009
Filed under:Movin Pitchers
My 2-year old has spent at least a part of every day since just before her birthday being every bit of a 2-year old. Tantrums, though mild, are objectionable more because of what brings them about rather than the actual experience. A toy not opening quickly enough, a piece of fabric caught on the bedpost, being carried somewhere and then put down… every damn time. She’s become quite familiar with the phrase “Time Out” though will alter virtually nothing in her behaviour because of this threat and ensuing punishment.
After reluctantly finishing her breakfast she settled into the morning of our office to watch the Wiggles guest star on Video Hits and to play with her bunnies. I planted myself on the couch to pop open this very laptop and peruse the daily offerings of emailings and readings only to look up and see an amused look on my child’s face while she looked at me and, very deliberately, stuck her finger up her right nostril.
I commented out loud with something along the lines of “Your kid’s a grotbag” in the direction of my wife, to which my daughter responded by looking very determined, and holding her finger out at me to offer her retrievings. After I barked a laugh in surprise and amusement and then reiterated my pointed comment, wife replied that I should actually be a bit proud, or at least accepting, of the fact that she was “just being an Exley, such an Exley.” I told her that I wasn’t so sure about that fact, nor her idea that I should be proud of this behaviour. That’s when she jabbed her finger up that nostril again.
This time she started climbing up the couch, gingerly cradling her extended finger while clambering past me to the back. I called wife’s attention to this because I’d assumed that this gross little child was going to try and force-feed me her booger, but I had to fully recant any claims I’d made at disgust when I saw that I wasn’t her intended target as she shook her finger over the back of the couch. Naturally this failed to dislodge said nosegold, so she wiped her finger across the back of the couch and turned to face me quite pleased with herself.
I have to admit, THAT was pretty Exley of her, and yes, it made me quite proud.
Some things have been happening. I went out today and got a new chair. There is also something dead in our neighbourhood, if not our backyard. We have been missing our cat for about a month. The latter two are only relevant to each other because I think the smell is a dead cat, though not OUR cat. I believe our cat to still be alive, just missing, and even if she was the source of that smell it would mean she was somewhere nearby and had been for a month. Unlikely.
So, after getting home from chair shopping and waking both wife and baby from Saturday afternoon naps while putting it together, I’ve noted that my chair has a smell fit to be a rival of the one wafting in from the window above my desk. First, we were just playing with the webcam because it makes her happy and it pleases me to think that people all over the world can visit this website and see video that has absolutely no relevance to anything other than it’s me and my baby being cute.
Jade has also been busting a new “thing” out these days and wife suggested we try and capture it before it’s not as cute anymore. Recently, when she was with the older kids and her cousins at Ron and Sam’s, she and her baby cousin Corbin were nakedly playing in a makeshift pool when 11-year old Imo said, “Ewwwwww, what’s that smell?!?” to which Jade replied casually, “Ah Bahted.” GOLD. Not just because it made Imo snort heartily, but because it was a naked fart, and everybody knows naked farts are 20% smellier.
And as is typical with this child, probably something she will never say again. Below is the best effort we’ve got at documenting this monumental happening.
March 14th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Jade is ADORABLE! And when did she turn blonde??? Last I saw of her she had dark brown hair.
March 16th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
My computer wont let me see these photos I might cry!!!!! Oh new chair snazzy
March 16th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
WCG, you need to adjust the tint on your monitor. Nothin’ blonde about that kid.
Nic, you need to adjust the blonde-o-meter on your head, those were the videos that your stoopit work won’t let you see.
Smewch.