Just in case you missed any. I know I added a bunch at once. There’s an order, hopefully you’ll figure it out. Hint: 1, then 2, then 3, and so on…
Stage 1 | Stage 2 | Stage 4 |
Stage 3 – Denial
I was just starting to think about sitting down and getting my shit together, possibly even asking Elation to get the fuck out and let me think for a bit, when Denial came in. This cocky fucker waltzed in the door grinning, high-fived Elation, and immediately started moving shit around.
It’s not that Denial doesn’t listen, he’s just very persuasive with his booming GameShow Host voice.
. . .
Things are cool here, dude. You are rockin’.
“I’m a fucking mess, and I should be.”
Naw meng, you’re doin’ fine. You’re getting rid of the dead weight in your life, and you’re in love, everything’s cool.
“Everything is SO not cool. I can’t sleep unless I literally lose consciousness wherever I’m at because I’m so fucking drunk, and I happily pass out knowing that I won’t have to dream that way. This happens every fucking night.”
Alcohol has Medicinal purposes! Dreaming only gets you into trouble, trust me. Who needs dreams?
“I’m never hungry and I never eat. The last solid food I ate was a single Hot Pocket, 2 days ago.”
A New Diet! You’re a Genius!
“I’m down 17 pounds and I’m on the fifth fucking notch in my belt.”
AWESOME! Now you don’t have to use the FatKid Chute when you go SkyDiving! You’re already at the weight limit! And the belt? You’re at the height of fashion! Belts are in, man, IN!
“I can’t stop thinking about MarriedGirl and how much I want her, the Girl can see it, and I know it’s hurting her.”
You’re in love, dude, roll with it. She’ll leave her husband and you two will make beautiful babies together! The Girl wouldn’t stand in the way of your ultimate happiness, would she? Hell No! She would want you to be happy!
“I’m not going to run over her like that. MarriedGirl and I can’t happen. We both know this.”
Pshaw! It could happen! It can happen! It WILL happen!
“Okay, now you’re freakin’ me out a little bit. Talkin’ like that, even believing some of it, if I didn’t know better, I’d say I’m in total?”
DENIAL? Nonsense, my fine feathered friend, Denial may be my name, but it really IS just a river in Egypt. Trust me, I’ve BEEN there!
“I dunno?”
You’re fine! Women want you and Men want to BE you, run with it!
“Hey, you’re right. Waaaaaiiiiiitt a minute. You don’t have anything to do with that idiot, Fantasy, do you?”
Ahem. He’s my second cousin on my mother’s side.
“Yeah, I thought so. Later, sucker.”
Wait!
Denial got his ass kicked to the street, but it didn’t stop him from coming back around and knocking on the windows. I couldn’t always hear what he was saying through the glass, but his voice carries and I heard more of his shit through the weeks than I wanted to.
There was only one guy that could show up and get rid of him permanently, but he wasn’t due for a bit.