Customs – Agent Helix

At first, Agent Helix kind of pissed me off. I had no idea who she was, her face looked a little funny, her guns were absolute shithouse and she was hard to fkn find for under $10. Then, I won a low-bidding auction for her and somebody else I needed (one of the Neo Vipers maybe?) for pretty cheap, getting her for about $5. Then I’d remembered I’d already bid in another auction for just her, and I ended up winning another low-bidding affair and getting her for about $4. Once I saw that I could do a custom or two with her parts, she sort of grew on me, and then I found out that she’s in the video game which me and Oldest Child recently picked up used at EB Games. So I’m no longer pissed off by her. She’s not my favourite, but she’s alright. Recipe Head – DUH Upper Torso – ROC Baroness Lower Torso – ROC Scarlett Upper Arms – ROC Scarlett Lower Arms – Agent Helix Upper Legs – ROC Baroness Lower Legs –… Read moreCustoms – Agent Helix

Customs – T’JBang

When I’d first sat down to create a custom that wasn’t solely for the Aussie Custom Contests on I figured that I should start somewhere obvious, like with the Ninja Force craptastic 90’s figs that were never, ever going to get made in modern versions (well, not most of ’em anyway). Since I already did Nunchuk for the Aussie Customs Comp, I thought I’d move to my next fave, good ol’ TJ. Recipe Head – Top half is Jungle Viper and bottom half is ROC Storm Shadow that I sliced off and glued on. Bandana trailing parts are the belt from Dollar General Storm Shadow. Torso – ROC Snake Eyes (v43) sanded and modded to get rid of lame-ass armour markings. Arms – Resolute Storm Shadow Upper Legs – ROC Snake Eyes (v43) with the pouches from ROC Shockblast’s belt glued on. Lower Legs – POC Tornado Kick Snake Eyes, modded. Feet – ROC Snake Eyes, Paris Pursuit. Shin and Forearm guards – Jacket skirt from ROC Storm Shadow. Breastplate – POC Whirlwind Gayass Kick Storm Shadow, heavily melted… Read moreCustoms – T’JBang

Customs – Breaker, Rise of Cobra

I didn’t do much to ol’ Shaz Breaker here, paint-wise, but I crafted him an eyepiece thingo, ear thingo and chest thingo from the movie. It has ALWAYS annoyed the shit out of me that they didn’t even bother to put either the ear or eye thing on him in any of the figures even though he wore it in nearly every scene and the rest of him was nearly new sculpts.

Office Joes

When Wifeage told me that she wanted me to have BOTH Billy Bookcases from Ikea, I hadn’t really imagined it possible that I’d fill them, fill the others, and still run out of room, but I did. After giving away all of my O-rings when I was a peer-pressured teen (Joes were definitely NOT cool) I got a hair up my ass and started collecting again a few years ago when I happened upon a gumtree ad where the guy was selling his childhood Joes collection for $50. I got some real deals in there AND I got to recapture that part of my childhood again. Then I found a Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes on eBay for about $10 and I got ’em, thinking that I’d fully finished recapturing my childhood. “Boy,” thought I, “these sure are shiny and in good nick for being so old…” Yep, they were just later versions, repaints basically. I checked around online and found that there were (at this point) 45 versions of Snake Eyes. FORTY FIVE. Goddam. I got a few here… Read moreOffice Joes

Lolclient and Carguy

Once upon a time, Carguy and Lolclient were introduced through mutual car-loving acquaintances. Carguy was known for making good cars for people that didn’t know how to make their own or didn’t feel like paying somebody a lot of money to make one. Carguy liked to trade cars for stuff he liked. And Lolclient had lots of car stuff Carguy liked. So they talked on the phone (different states) and they liked each other, and they came up with a plan to make Lolclient a really nice car. A car everybody would like that would eventually make Lolclient some good money when he raced it. Lolclient didn’t really know how to drive either, especially not racecars, but Carguy assured him that this car would be easy to learn and easy to drive. It was a fairly common car, you see, and Carguy not only had a manual for it, but another, bigger, manual called “Google”. So Carguy drafted up a few mockups of what the car would look like. Lolclient liked them. So one of the toughest parts was over,… Read moreLolclient and Carguy

Customs – Alley Vipers (Gear)

I’ve always believed that good, quality customising comes from the creativity borne from necessity, tempered by means. What’s that mean? It means that you’re like me, so po’ you can’t afford the fancy shit, so you build your own out of cheap crap that you’ve already got and you compromise a bit and cut a few corners because you want it so bad but you still try your damnedest to make it look like the real thing. ****** I picked up one of those neon-orange Alley Vipers in a bulk lot from Sinodolls (or as I affectionately call him, “FellOffHasbroTruckGuy”) and at first I thought, “What IS this monstrosity?” But then he grew on me. I picked up some gear during a One of This and One of That Shop through Marauder’s Gun Runners (which is usually around $10-$15 inc. shipping here to Aus) and had one of their riot-control body armour vests and shields, so I stuck ’em on the Alley Viper and he looked, well, silly. Especially next to his cousin, the Pursuit of Cobra Alley Viper, whom… Read moreCustoms – Alley Vipers (Gear)

Just Be

It’s not easy to be something other than what we are.  It’s made even more difficult when what we are keeps changing, as does the expectations from The World Around Us. Of course, knowing what we are and knowing what The World expects of us makes all this being much easier, but can you count the number of times in your life that you’ve known that to happen?  Probably, and with one hand’s worth of fingers even. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, we’re constantly measured against expectations from The World, and many times those judgements, those measurements, are unknown to us.  Even if we’re ever informed of them, it’s usually well after the fact when we find out how we measured up.  Too often, this leads us to move around through our own lives constantly trying to preempt bad judgements, poor performance, negative thoughts and feelings towards us. If you were to look at it, you might find that notion preposterous.  You’re moving through YOUR OWN LIFE, trying to avoid the negativity found in less-than-favourable judgements made by… Read moreJust Be


It’s easy to get impatient about all of this.  To get up and get going in your day and only be aware of the Next Thing that you are meant to be doing.  The Next Thing is hanging there all Damocles-like because you’d rather be doing Your Thing instead.  And every day that you’re not doing Your Thing means that the Next Thing could kill you and you’d NEVER get to do Your Thing. But the bait is there, to just keep doing the Next Thing and you’ll be rewarded someday.  Some.  Day. But that day isn’t today.  Not.  Today. Today, you are expected to just keep doing the Next Thing and keep your mouth shut. So… it’s easy to get impatient about all of this.  Because you’ve probably never been encouraged to just do Your Thing and say, “Fuck it.” to everything else. Today, say “Fuck it.” to everything else, and go do Your Thing. Go.

Custom ROC Arctic Scarlett

With two versions of Rise of Cobra Scarlett, and them being very different, I really wanted to try and give her a proper treatment in any customs.  Plus, let’s face it, there aren’t that many girls in this toyline and I had an extra of each Scarlett, so I wanted to give it a go. The hardest part was trying to find a way to keep her feminine while still ‘bulked up’ with the Arctic cold-weather gear.  I could have just taken the Arctic Snake Eyes and did a headswap, like I did with Ripcord (and lots of plastic-weldiness) but that would have still made her just pretty androgenous.  I wanted sleek and sexy, like she in in the other ROC incarnations (even though the City Strike one has some neck issues) but I wanted her padded-out to protect against the cold weather. This took some doin’. Basically, I had to find body parts that were smooth-ish (not too wrinkly, armoured, geared-up) so as to look like arctic gear, and I had to find ones that weren’t too big in… Read moreCustom ROC Arctic Scarlett

Custom City Strike Heavy Duty

Before I got nutty in getting all Phone Melty and Plastic Weldy, I wanted to ease in slowly.  I did the Desert Ripcord, because that was just a headswap, handswap and painting the neck.  But, I wanted to get painty, and I’m really loving getting my City Strike crew together, so when I saw that I had two identical Jungle-coloured Heavy Duty’s (because the jungle featured so heavily in Rise of Cobra… oh wait…) and then I finally picked up the 4-pack Desert Something Something ROC with a repaint of Heavy Duty, I thought, “Hey, I frickin’ LOVE pickles!” Kidding.  I thought I should just do my own repaint, because HD isn’t my favourite from the movie line and I wasn’t afraid of fucking him up.  It’s not because he’s British, or because they did him and not Roadblock, but because they gave the toy freakyweird eyes.  Like boggly and gross.  I love the earring, but the eyes are sheepshit and scare me. But still, a good excecise and if I can get another HD in Impact Armour (because his… Read moreCustom City Strike Heavy Duty