I arise from The Depths… to wreak havok on your unsuspecting populace.

I’ll start off by saying that I’m completely averse to “contests” or anything resembling “look I’m a celebrity, so you too can be popular with the cool kids by being mentioned in this here blog” shit, but there are enough folks out there that read this, and enough of ’em are just Good People, flat out.

This is why I’ll completely contradict myself, just for WarCry, and “award” a winner to the Name The Love Interest Contest that she suggested.

I don’t know that I’ve ever linked to the “winner’s” diary before, and she rarely comments, so I’m not sure how many of you have ever read her, but she’s been on my favorites since Day One, literally, and she’s been a good friend since not long after that.

I’ll even be quaffing both our shares of Aussie beers with her and FemmeAustralis when I am there in April. A much good time will be had by all, of this there is no doubt, ’cause she’s that fuckin’ cool.

So, go read the lovely and talented OchWeidNit, and thank me profusely later.

I was half-kidding about a “prize” for this contest, but…

BatGirl, this if for YOU baby.

Anus Wins!

You’re going to have to ask her about the meaning of her DLand pseudonym, because it’s fuckin’ hilarious, and only she tells the story properly.


Work is still horrendously busy, and the true bright spot to all of it is that, if everything works like we’ve planned, we’re looking at around 10 million additional bucks a year.

Yeah, for us, that’s a pretty big fucking deal, hence the pressure and the addition of Wiredly McFreakinoutboy in Judd’s life.

The discovery of my wallet was enough of a sign to me that I decided I was destined to let off more steam at work, especially in these packed-with-tension times.

I know I normally tend to be quite reserved when in my element at CubeWorld, but last night called for true release… the destruction of something.

The office had emptied to the point where CoWorkerBuddy felt comfortable enough to crank up some music, and our customary freakish dance display was soon to be on in full force.

We were both still focused though, on getting our *geeky-code-bullshit* done, so subdued, personal, dance displays were all that was going on in our cubes.

Things were set and kicked off, it was now time to wait… and to dance.

For some reason or another, CoWorkerBuddy noticed that NewCodeGuy had not only received a less-than-appropriate welcome, but didn’t even have a trash can in his cube, and was instead opting to place his trash in a neat, little, pile on his desk.

While CoWorkerBuddy ran off to scour CubeWorld for an empty cube from which to “liberate” a trash can, I got an idea.

It occurred to me, in an empty CubeWorld, why get only one wastebasket, when you could get them ALL?

When CoWorkerBuddy came back and festooned NewCodeGuy’s cube with one meager office accoutrement, I had already retrieved 6 of the 7 neighboring cube’s wastebaskets.

Since he IS technically management, I had to listen to his reasoning that putting them all in NewCodeGuy’s cube would only confuse and fuck up housekeeping’s work. Not wanting to do anything that would adversely effect Eduardo’s job, I held back in my plan to stack everything on top of NewCodeGuy’s monitor.

Content with my concession, CoWorkerBuddy went back to his cube and fired off the next round of IfYoureStillHereGetTheFuckOut tunes.

I was gathering up the wastebaskets when I heard this pounding out from his cube.

“Break Stuff?”

Yes, it was indeed time to “break stuff.”

But, I didn’t want to do so haphazardly, nor did I actually want to “break stuff,” I just needed to feel like I was.

The beat caught me as I randomly placed the trash cans along the main row of CubeWorld, and by the time the rage and aggression of the music hit me, they were ready, waiting, and completely unprepared for…

JuddZilla.

Fortunately, CoWorkerBuddy was unable to hear over the music the anguished cries of the helpless denizens of “Tokyo” as I stomped and kicked my way through TrashCanMiniCity and screamed at the buildings I was rending asunder, “I… AM? GawdZirra… And YOU… Are… JAPAN!”

The wastebaskets were surprisingly empty, and very little trash scattered across the carpet, but a lone, empty, Yoplait, yogurt cup waited at the end of the carnage, for the coupe de grace.

My 100 million year-old, scaly, clawed, dinosaur-like, foot smashed down upon the Japanese Military’s Missile Launching Unit, and their feeble attempt at defending their city was crushed with it.

You DIE!  You DIE!

In lieu of DataAnalyst targets for the Nerf Dart Gun, the Massacre of CubeRow was everything that I needed.

The stress and tension of the week seemed to magically melt away with every hollow-sounding, plasticy, WHOOMPF of the trash cans as I booted them clear into the Pacific Ocean.


Thankfully, cleanup was a breeze, as my fellow cube-dwellers don’t seem to produce much trash, and CoWorkerBuddy hardly noticed that DumbCodeGuy’s patented Box o’ Crackers was now all the way across the office in ProjectManagerGirl’s office.


Paperwork for the Passport is complete, barring governmental catastrophe, and all subsequent official paperwork for my trip abroad is taken care of.

It’s been an… interesting week, and it is now over.

So, here’s to Tomorrow…

*raises bottle of beer*

*Clink*

While we never know what it may bring, may we always hope for the absolute Best, and have the faith in ourselves that we can handle the absolute Worst.

Wish me luck, and watch out for deer.


SHIT, I almost forgot to tell you that I am as horny like a fluttering wildebeest.

Wow, never has saying that brought so much fulfillment into my life…