I’m Back, Married, and Drunk off my ass.

Before I sat down to write this I had any manner of formats in mind. They ranged from “decidedly romantical” to “overwhelmingly bummerical.”

To be honest, I’m way too fucking drunk to even comprehend any difference between the two.

My last plane landed hours ago and I’ve spent that mean time talking to the (ex)Girl, with whom my relationship has blossomed back into that comfortable friendship that we’ve always had, and my Wife, who misses me like I miss her, which is to say that we both need the other like a plant needs sunlight… only like… 80 bazillion times more so.

I had to get on another fucking plane and leave my wife, again.

This Shit is Fucking Brutal.

I don’t know how to put it other than that.

I’m also very drunk. My best friend Shithead, who’s the older brother of the (ex)Girl, left me several ShitBeers in my fridge while the (ex)Girl graciously took care of the house (and it’s ensuing sale, YAY!), and I am eternally grateful, for copious amounts of alcohol are all that I can rely upon right now to dull the Pain.

I don’t have the words to describe the fact that Nothing is Right when I’m away from her, and that my reality is dulled by the realization that my Life consists of a series of events that I must dutifully put up with until I can be with her again…


This Shit Fucking Sucks.

I’ve leaked fluid from my eyes at random moments throughout my 27-hour long trip across the Globe.

She’s cried twice as much for my absence in our home and in her life.

In light of this, I give you happy images, moments that can’t even come close to capturing the love and happiness that is felt, but instead is a vain attempt at capturing the only peace and light that I can currently cling to.

I stare at them for hours on end, remembering, cherishing, grasping at the memories… before I quietly pass out in my empty bed, thousands of miles from where I truly belong.

Look at him… seriously… LOOK.

Have you ever seen him look that happy?

I have to look at him every goddam day in the mirror, and I’ve never seen anything resembling this before.

Husband and Wife.

For Real… For Life.

BatGirl’s 30th birthday party, which she unknowingly invited me to over a year ago, is now surrounded in circumstances which I never would have comprehended, nor believed at the time.

YES, I am a fucking Goob, and the woman pictured loves me like Nothing else in this World.

Sweet Jeezus, I’m outta beer.

Could I feel any worse right now? I suppose I could be… *gasp* SOBER…

*SIGH* I miss you, my wife.

I’ll be back soon with SuperHappyFunShit, I promise.

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