The Captain – Short Story

Every month, the Australian Writer’s Centre holds the Furious Fiction contest, where they give a handful of writing prompts, limit you to 500 words and see what you come up with.

I’ve been ‘longlisted’ for the comp before, and this one got me on there again, so I’m happy enough with that.

The prompts for September were:

  • Your story must start and end with the same sentence.
  • Your story must feature something being inflated.
  • Your story must include the words FLAG, FLAME, FLASH and FLATTER.

** The Captain **

Nobody would ever suspect the captain. He’s expected to lead from the front, to make the key plays, to inspire, to encourage, to extract the best from his teammates at all times. To see the truth, they think it would be someone weaker, lesser. Their vision blurred by decades of wilful ignorance.

They’ll never know the strength it took to stay true to one’s heart while playing such a prominent role. Fan’s perception is that such a facet would be easier to spot and wouldn’t last in the most important position. At best, a flash in the pan. At worst, a shameful admission that statistical breakdowns that affect the rest of the globe had somehow touched their beloved sport.

As he pulls the laces tight and breathes in, deep in concentration, he knows who he is. He knows what he’s been through to get here. He’s had to do more than just laugh along with off-colour jokes in the locker room, pretend he’s indoctrinated with the same subtle bigotry running rife through the professional sporting world. He’s had to stare down an old flame, now playing on a rival team, both hiding in plain sight, and try his hardest not to imagine the questions their well-known friendship would bring should the truth come out.

More than just abilities and athletic prowess, it’s taken every bit of smarts to get here and stay here. The politics of being the captain, the bureaucratic bullshit one must wade through on a daily basis. It’s more than just hiding who you are at times, it’s actively trying to be someone else. Someone whose merits should speak for themselves but who must instead also use all their connections, all their nous and canny observations to work the egos of the ultimate decision-makers.

A true leader knows when to compromise, of course, and will compliment to the point just short of sucking up, using flattery to the point just short of being obsequious, in order to maintain their position at the top. Be they a coach or a manager, there’s not a one of them that doesn’t visibly swell as they breathe in the sweet air of their own pitard.

So he’ll lead from the front, and he’ll do it with the spirit of a true leader. One who puts others’ dreams above his own. His teammates stomp up the tunnel and out into glory with stars in their eyes, a flag the ultimate goal for nearly every single one of them. None would ever know that he’s put this paramount above his own, that all he really wants is to finally settle down with someone special, have a quiet wedding, a modest house, hopefully a couple of kids.

Not a single one of them, from the dozens he shares a jersey with to the thousands upon thousands that might soon be chanting his name, would ever know what type of love truly beats in the heart of their leader. Nobody would ever suspect the captain.

Annabel’s Teapot

This is a short story for the Australian Writer’s Centre Furious Fiction December 2022 Contest for which I was longlisted.

In addition to being limited to 500 words, the other rules were:

  • Each story had to begin with a 12-word sentence.
  • Each story had to include the sale of a second-hand item
  • Each story had to include at least five (5) different words that end in the letters –ICE.

Curious, when the entirety of life’s endeavours is little more than junk. Curious and pathetic. A loose collection of knickknacks, collectable items, kitsch.
Annabel loved her crochet samplers, her porcelain miniatures, her creepily-staring dolls, but she worshipped her spoons. She bid them good night, every night, and she stopped and stared at them every single day, sometimes finishing a nice cup of tea whilst standing unsteadily in front of them.
Her life consisted of very few lasting things. No children, not a single loved one still alive. Those spoons were the only thing she cared about. For them to be here, in this shop, awaiting appraisal and an unfair amount of currency for them was an injustice. Annabel’s life should be worth more than that.
The shop owner regarded the spoons with slightly less disdain than he did the man presenting them. Both were of swarthy persuasion, older and greying, and had been granted citizenship many years ago. But their countries of origin had fundamental differences of policies, and now a prejudice against the other permeated their very cell structures.
Annabel’s spoons would never be here were she alive. The only way someone would get them off her and get them here, was if they knew she was dead.
The man presents a tea set, the shop owner shows even more disdain, pointing out that it hasn’t even been given a proper clean. The tea remnants stain the bottom and one of the saucers shows the striped imprint of a licorice Allsort that was unstuck from it at some point. They bicker, the shop owner doesn’t want it until I call out that I would like to purchase it.
“Fifty.” The shop owner didn’t waste even a heartbeat before turning to me with an outrageous price. The seller’s eyes light up until he looks into my eyes and there’s a flicker, but I don’t think he recognises me.
“Twenty.” It’s a stupid game to play, but play it I must.
“Thirty-five.” The shop owner goes instantly to split the difference but catches the look of excitement on the seller’s face, leans over to him with his hand held up and reminds him, “Fifteen to you.”
The man doesn’t like it, but relents. Perhaps bolstered by this early success, he then takes among the first offers for the spoons and hastily departs. He’s easy enough to follow home because he lives next door to Annabel. I’ve seen him several times, though I don’t believe he’s ever really gotten a good look at me. When he answers the door, his brow gives a crinkle that says he’s confused as to how I was at the shop earlier and now on his front porch.
“I don’t know why, but you got in there before I could finish cleaning up at Annabel’s.” I push into his house. “Now it looks like I’ve got a whole lot more to clean up than just the nightshade from the teapot.”
I pull the door closed behind me.

post

The River Doesn’t Care

The river doesn’t care.

It doesn’t care about the crystalline, perfect Spring day’s sunshine pouring down. It doesn’t care about me, or my older brother who is home from Uni, or my mother who has made a rare visit back as well and has taken us out fishing for the day. The river doesn’t care about any of that.

We haven’t been all together for a day’s fishing in years, though nothing’s changed. Not for them at least. For me, much has changed. I’ve had to learn how to navigate high school and my father’s moods all alone, just he and I in that big, empty house. She is still mostly-oblivious to the dynamics of her sons, the power struggles for her love. My brother is six years older and will do everything in his power to remain the centre of attention, trying his best to shine bright but belittling me if needed.

We stand on the gravel bank of a bend in the river, rods in hand. The sunshine and water are something out of a poem. They are perfect. She digs her camera out and tells us to pose, her boys. I have not been taciturn, but I have not been boisterous, obnoxious, or interruptive while he performs. I’ve been waiting for them to see anything that’s changed about me and when my brother goes to put his arm around my shoulders, always an act of domination rather than affection, he has to reach up for the first time ever.

Something has changed, and I wait for them to notice. I don’t want to dominate him, I never have. I don’t want to own or defeat him. I just want to be and I want to be seen. But I know his ego won’t allow that unless it’s suitably assuaged. She’s never realised this, and blurts out that by the next time we all get together I’ll have outgrown him. He stiffens next to me, and I brace myself for what he’ll need to do to bring the focus back to him.

He’s smart enough to know that conspicuously taking me down without elevating himself only brings him down too, he smiles as if all is well. Both of us stand there brandishing our fishing rods, posing. A split-second before the shutter snaps, he turns in a flash, grips my head and plants a cartoonishly sloppy kiss on my cheek. My mother roars with laughter and goes on about how funny he is.

The moment leaves smiles on all our faces as we hike up the river past the big bend, leading to whatever spot they think is best. They are the more experienced, more successful, fishers after all. For them, nothing has changed. I trail along behind them for a bit before I stop. I realise they’ll just continue on through the grass and brush without me, so I call out that I’ll be trying my luck at this particular spot.

Both look with confusion at me and then the water. It’s not a good spot, and he feels the need to tell me as such. I shrug and throw together some words that placate and show some river knowledge, anything that doesn’t betray my desire to be away from them. Something about working my way downstream toward the massive logjam at the bend. I turn to gesture to it to confirm but they are both already walking away.

I cast into the swift water, knowing nothing will happen but feeling the need to do something. I realise I need to be on the other side of the river for the best angle at the logjam, but the water here is hip-deep, and fast. I should try upstream for slower water. But they are up there, talking and laughing as they fish. I could go down, cross below the logjam and then walk back up, but there’s too much brush. I’ve forded the river before, so in I go.

The river is so strong that every step is a struggle, every solid footing its own success. I’m ever-aware of the river’s power, keeping my footing and my focus. As I near the middle where it’s fastest and deepest, I turn and look at them. I don’t know what I’m looking for. I don’t have time to ponder though, as my foot slips and down I go.

At first, the river is gentle. Not too cold or rough. But I am moving fast, too fast. A strong swimmer, I’ve never been afraid of the water. But that logjam is dangerous, deadly, and I am headed straight for it. The river bends away from it and I expect the current to bend with it, like the letter “J”. I am not swimming hard yet as one hand still grips my fishing rod, until I realise that the river doesn’t bend gracefully, it rams into a corner before continuing on like the letter “L” instead.

I’m not aware of losing my pole or my favourite hat, I only know I am swimming as hard as I ever have in my life. I am fighting the power of the river, but I am losing. I don’t panic but my thoughts cease to be thoughts and are now pure reflex. I stop fighting and try to protect myself as I am slammed into the logjam, the immense mass of tangled and broken trees having any number of sharp, broken-off branches in it. Then I am under.

The force is the biggest shock. My body isn’t mine now. Like an amusement park ride or under a dogpile of enthusiastic teammates, I am helpless. I don’t even register relief at not being skewered as I am pinned against the underside of the logjam. My thoughts return as I look up at the water splashing around on the logs above and start thinking of something, anything, that I can do to get out.

Pushing out against the river isn’t an option, as I’m barely able to move my arms. I angle one forward into the current and my hand slides along the surface of a massive log above me. Bubbles dance along the underside of it as I reach for something on it to grab as I couldn’t wrap my arms halfway around it. I find a limb’s remnant that fits my hand perfectly and brace myself, knowing that I am strong enough to pull myself up and out, to fight against this river and win. I pull with all my strength and I can feel movement.

But it is the log moving, all I’ve done is roll it over, and now my handhold is underwater with me. The reward for my efforts is to be pinned helpless again. I watch more bubbles dancing up to the logs above and realise I am running out of options as well as time. There’s no room for more mistakes.

I stop fighting. Because this isn’t a battle. The river doesn’t care about me and my struggles. It’s not something to be battled, to be victorious over. The river doesn’t care about winning. It’s not something I can fight anyway, it is too powerful to be fought. I am pinned, helpless, but I can move my arms upward along the rough bank I am pinned against. I won’t fight the river any more, I will work with it.

If I was able to pull one of the logs over before, there’s a chance I can push up between them. Gradually, I force my fingers up through the mass of timber wedged above me. The logs are heavy and the river strong, but I push steady and I don’t stop. Suddenly my hand is through and then the rest of my arm as well.

The logs resist, the hammering of the current pressing them painfully against my arm and I worry that it will be crushed. Or worse, that I’ll get my head in-between them and the relentless force of the river will squish me. My hand finds purchase on the riverbank, my fingers grasping a clump of tough grass, and I push my other arm up to grab hold as well. Then I pull with all I am.

And I am free. I slither onto the bank, gasping and heaving. I stand unsteadily and walk from the trees onto the gravel bank to that perfect sunshine. I feel like something should be different, like I should feel triumphant over the river in the battle for my life. Like I should have seen a light in a tunnel or a showreel of my exploits roll by, but nothing has changed. The logjam sits innocuously, water lapping up and around the leafless branches of long-dead trees before it rolls out the side and smooths out into the slower, wider, riffly and less-deadly, gravel-banked shallows.

I am shaking but I don’t feel cold. I am calm but feel like I shouldn’t be. My mother bursts through the brush, her normally passive face panic-stricken, her mouth a worried half-cry. My brother is a step behind her, in a breathless hurry while his eyes scan coolly across me and the riverbank, assessing the situation. My mother pulls me forcefully into her arms and makes both panicked and relieved noises. I don’t feel the comfort in her grip that I wanted. She is grasping me like something that she has nearly lost.

My brother glibly comments on how they had both seen me crossing and worried until they realised I wasn’t there any more. He accidentally admits it was only when they saw me climbing free from the logjam that they came running. He’s absently smiling and nodding at me as if all is well now that he’s arrived. My mother still holds me firm. Though I am calm, I remember shaking moments before and I try to manufacture a shudder, something to give her to make her feel like she’s needed, like she’s calming me. Instead she steps back, holding me at arm’s length and commenting on how cold I must be before turning me fully into the sun.

We hear his footsteps on the gravel before seeing my brother splash roughly into the river, swimming with a rescue stride out into the easy water. For a split-second I am confused, thinking he’s trying to valiantly rescue me, and I wonder if I’ve actually died in that logjam and I am now watching him attempt to recover my body.

He comes back, his smirk never fading as he gracefully returns to shore, strutting back to me, dripping wet and smugly handing me my favourite fishing hat. He makes some comment about how he couldn’t let our favourite team’s hat go floating down the river and I stand there wondering how he’s missed that this hat is for an entirely different team, their colours a slightly lighter shade of red than his favourite team. I see it for what it is. He needed something to bring the spotlight back to himself, so I put my hand over the hat’s logo and nod at him, thanking him as if he swam like that to save me.

She goes on about how impressed she was that he threw himself into the dangerous water to rescue his younger brother’s favourite fishing hat, and I see both of them. I turn to look at the river, feeling like I should feel poetic, roused to some beautiful articulation about the contrast of the violence and unrelenting force of the water against the logjam that then peters out into a peaceful and gentle flow that meanders across the gravel. I’m sure there should be some sort of comparative reviewing of my own life, some sort of analogous duality I can draw from this moment following my own struggle against this power for my very survival.

But the river doesn’t care. The sun shines on me and I am drying out and warming and, in that moment, neither do I.

We Have Company

He was four days shy of turning fifty and Jack was running so hard he thought his heart would burst. The panting growl grew closer behind him even though he was running as fast as he ever had in his life. The huge German Shepard had burst through the brush and interrupted Jack’s evening jog before Jack snapped a dead branch from a tree for a weapon. When the wood snapped though, a splinter shot right into Jack’s eye and he was now running so fast that blood was trickling into his greying sideburns.
As Jack ran by the Thomas’s abandoned shack he veered off the road and made for the gap between the letterbox and the gate. The dog could easily vault the fence but Jack hoped to buy enough time to find a slat or board from the junk pile, something he could defend himself with. Jack misjudged the gap though, and his hip caught the jagged edge of the letterbox post. Pain jolted down his leg as he flew awkwardly through the air, landing hard on the packed dirt.
The dog was at the gate a second later, still growling viciously while assessing the best way to gain entry. It reared back, haunches coiled to vault the fence, when the Kelpie came from nowhere, bristling and black like it had been dripped straight from the night. It didn’t bark or growl at the German Shepard so much as it roared like a lion, sending the Shepard backward. Another roar and the Shepard ran back into the bush, and Jack wondered if the Kelpie only did that so it could kill him instead.
Jack pulled himself to his feet and the Kelpie turned to meet his eye. Jack knew nobody in the area had a dog other than that homicidal Shepard, and he stared in curiosity and relief as the Kelpie’s ears twitched expectantly and its tail wagged. Jack nodded thanks and then hobbled toward home, stopping intermittently to turn and try to convince the animal to return to its own, wherever that may be. Several painful kilometres later, Jack paused at his front door and turned to see that tail still wagging, those ears still expectant. He let himself in, but then held the door open and waited.
Less than an hour later, Jack’s only son would come through the door, footy shoes slung over his shoulders. He’d look curiously between Jack’s bleeding eye and his father’s hand scratching between a pair of expectant ears while a tail thumped happily on the floor. Jack would need a ride to Emergency but not before he’d smile at his son, gesture at the happy creature and say, “We have company.”
Jack would have Company for the next fifteen years before the night of his 65th birthday when Company would curl up near the tattered running shoes by the door and that tail would thump happily a final time.

post

Tripping

The knight stood tall in his resplendent armour, his arms flexing under the chainmail and pauldrons, the plume on his helmet languidly dancing from side to side in time with his steadying feet. The six-foot cat person positioned next to him purred, lovingly cleaned her whiskers and then stared at his plume with fascination. Phillip was trying not to stare at her fur-covered breasts when he was shouldered aside by a werewolf that was licking his chops and making his way toward the cat person.
Phillip looked across from one concrete corner to another and took in a silver-lit fairy hovering just above the ground, a tuxedo’ed man with glowing red eyes and a cyborg’s arm whispering to a soldier in full tactical combat gear while gesturing suggestively at the fairy. She winked at Phillip and both men turned to look at him in jealous fascination. He looked down at his tall, well-built form, looking good in his casual uniform and then looked for a way out. He couldn’t help but think they’d all see he was unaffected and he needed out.
Backing cautiously away, Phillip’s head hit something hard. A bit late, he ducked under the oversized elbow of a red and gold armoured rippling hero straight from the pages of at least two comic books, blending iconic red-and-gold armour with a patriotic white star on his chest and shield and an “A” on his helmeted forehead. The man hadn’t paid Phillip any mind as he was talking animatedly to a pop star who was more interested in her phone’s interpretation of her eyeliner than the heroic tale.
Phillip turned slowly, scanning the drab concrete wall behind a thin cartoonish man with crazily-spiked hair and a grey trenchcoat, the handle of a samurai sword peeking out from the folds that flapped slowly in a breeze that should be impossible in this sealed bunker. A greying wizard with a long, wooden staff walked behind a squatted, scaly troll who was panting with its head in its clawed hands when Phillip finally spotted the viewport in the wall. He pushed past a football player in a blue and white uniform who was eyeing him coolly before flashing a wink and a smile.
The viewports were dark, as expected, but Phillip knew they were back there. He didn’t know how many, but they were definitely there.
**
“He seems unaffected, thus far,” Ishrat said, standing tall and squinting curiously at the small viewing window, “Everyone else in the room is most definitely into Stage 3.”
“Stage 3 already?” Meilani asked dubiously, the screen of her tablet lighting her round face, “You’re full of shit, Ish. How can you even tell?”
“Nearly all of them are in full pose-mode, Mei,” Ishrat smiled before raising his eyebrow at her, “And there’s one on the far end grooming herself.”
“Bah, could be a freak-out about flies or something,” she fired back, “Who’s unaffected now? I mean, not that I believe you as there’s no way you can tell.”
“Not a freak-out,” Ishrat said, the viewport drawing him back in, “Seriously, she’s about to crank her leg up like a cello and start licking her ass. And our straight man hasn’t done anything other than study the others on his way over here to try and stare me down. Check it.”
Ishrat stepped back from the little window while his partner leaned down to look through it. Phillip’s face filled the bottom-half of the window, his eyes squinted and roamed back and forth as if he was anxiously awaiting something, or someone. Meilani scrunched up her face in disbelief and turned to look down at Ishrat.
“He’s obviously still in Stage 2, Ish,” she said, tilting her head at him, “And yet it’s you who is imagining things.”
Ishrat’s already-wide smile broadened. “Just watch,” he prompted, “He’s lucid. And he’s looking for us.”
She shook her head as she turned back to look. “How’s he any different from early Stage 2?” she asked, “Half the time they all stare around in wonderment after the dose first smashes headlong into their neurons.”
“Check the time,” Ishrat said smugly, “He’s a full 20 minutes past neuron-smashing. That guy is chill and he’s not just looking for us, he’s looking at the others. Studying them. Watch him.”
**
All Phillip could see in the viewport was his own reflection as his chiselled good looks and swathe of sandy-blonde hair filled the view. He turned from the viewport and looked around the concrete room for the door, spotting it on the far wall looking like a viewport, but floor-to-ceiling. The grey wizard was talking to an pixie-like young woman with elf ears and when Phillip stepped around them he nearly stumbled over the reptilian troll crouched on the floor who was now making pained noises in time with its panting. The slender anime wasn’t directly looking at the troll, but was gripping his sword tightly, everything about him tense.
As Phillip tried to squeeze between the comic hero and the pop icon, Phillip patted the star on the man’s chest and gave him a thumbs up and a wink. Instead of giving way, the celebrity influencer raised an eyebrow at him, the phone at the end of her outstretched arm alternately capturing her image while giving her endless feedback in the form of tiny symbols. Phillip stepped up close to her, looked down her arm at her rectangular interface with the world, leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Your last album made it to Rolling Stone’s Top 100 Worst Ever.” She gave him a dark look and pulled away quickly. Phillip smiled and stepped past.
The still-hovering fairy smiled at his approach and excitedly flit from side to side. Cyborg Tuxedo and the Modern Warfare Soldier loomed behind, glowering. Phillip looked around her at the men, giving a short, sharp salute to the operator and a cock-sure smooth nod and finger-gun to the spy. He blew a kiss to the fairy and she squealed in delight as she spun on the spot, sparkledust cascading off of her and glittering across the floor.
The werewolf was sniffing around the giant cat, literally, and she didn’t appear too impressed, giving Phillip an imploring purr as he approached. The hulking monster had apparently gone a bit too far for the knight as he had stepped over and placed a gauntleted hand on the werewolf’s massive bicep, pulling at it with futility. Phillip moved around them and the cat woman gave him an appreciative nod when he made a show of stepping over her long tail, the very end flipping happily on the floor.
Phillip presented himself in front of the door, holding his arms out, palms up. He could hear the werewolf building a low snarl and the clinking of the plate armour as the knight flinched. It would be one hell of a fight and he wanted out, and he mouthed as such to the darkened door, then waited.
**
“Alright, something’s funny,” Meilani said, “I’m not saying you’re right or anything, but something’s up.”
“You want to go around?” Ishrat asked her, his face eager, “See what he’s doing?”
Meilani shrugged and pursed her lips before nodding. “May as well,” she relented, “Make sure he doesn’t freak the others out.”
Ishrat fell in step with his partner, hurrying a little because her strides were significantly longer than his. “There’s not always a freak-out, apparently,” he said, “They say that sometimes, it’s super rare, but you get some sort of idealised version of yourself. Like your best self. I wish I’d had me some of that.”
Meilani grunted noncommittally as they rounded the corner of the dimly-lit hallway. “Rumours. It sure as hell can’t do that, Ish,” she scoffed, “That’s not what it’s designed for in any way at all. It’s just meant to get you over the hump, into the next step. You know that.”
“I don’t even remember mine other than I was kind of pissed when I woke up,” Ishrat said, hustling to catch up to her, “All I know is I passed and most didn’t, and here I am.”
Meilani grunted again as they came up to the large frame surrounding the room’s only door, her mass nearly filling the entire thing.
Ishrat looked around under her arm and stared in fascination through the door at Phillip’s pantomime just on the other side. “Wonder what it is he’s going through. You know, Mei…” he said, “All this time together and you’ve never talked about what it was like when you went through.”
“No,” Meilani answered shortly, “I haven’t.”
**
Phillip was working his mouth wide and exaggerated while so they could more easily make out his words while he gestured toward the door. He only wanted out and clearly wasn’t a danger. He was the only one not an entirely new form like the wackjobs they put him in there with. Whatever this was going on, he wasn’t in on it.
The werewolf’s growl got slowly louder behind him but the knight’s voice was surprisingly firm in response. Those two were going to get at it soon, and Phillip figured he’d do better do something different to get out of there before getting caught up in it. He couldn’t for the life of him remember why it was they’d stuck him in that room but when he looked at his reflection in the viewport’s glass and saw the orange t-shirt and grey jacket, he had a fleeting thought that everyone in there was wearing the same thing at one point.
Phillip studied his face in the glass and saw something a bit off. He wondered if it had a warp or minor imperfection as his chin looked impressively square, though he always thought of it as fairly non-existent. There was something about the lighting in the concrete room too that he totally appreciated, as he looked in the door’s glass and thought he’d never looked so good. Beefed-up too, as the grey jacket seemed to give him impressively-muscled shoulders.
He gave his head a small shake and regained his composure. Whatever weird lighting they had in there, and whatever weird D&D shit was going on with the others, he was ready to come out and he needed to let them know. If only they’d just adjust the tint on the door and he could see them, he could properly explain it.
**
“Whoa. Read his lips, Mei, he says we should let him out, ha!” Ishrat said before turning to her, “So… what was it like for you when you went through? You freak out or what?”
Meilani breathed a deep and heavy sigh. Phillip was talking conversationally didn’t seem agitated in any way. Two others behind him were sizing each other up aggressively, but that was common enough by this point. They were nearly done.
“I don’t like talking about it, Ish,” she said softly, “I definitely didn’t see my idealised self, that’s for sure.”
Ishrat’s voice lowered and he looked up at his partner, his eyes soft. “What happened, Mei?” he asked, “You can tell me, you know that.”
Meilani sighed again and pursed her lips. “It wasn’t even like it was a freak-out,” she said quietly, “I just saw my husband come in, all six-foot-five of him, and as he walked toward me he slowly changed into my father, all five-foot-six of him. So that was pretty weird.”
Ishrat blew out a breath. “Whoa, Mei,” he said softly, “That’s messed up. So that’s not a freak-out? Sounds pretty close.”
“Nah, messed up was that I stood there and calmly pissed my pants,” she turned to Ishrat snickering, and he joined her laughter, “Seriously! Full load! I filled my boots and it ran out on the floor. I think that’s when they knew I was done, and yet somehow two boots full of piss managed a pass!”
They were both caught in peals of laughter now. Ishrat gripped his partner’s shoulder to steady himself. “Oh Mei, that’s a real pisser!” he chuckled and sighed, “A far cry from the ideal you, I bet! Which was what again? Oh yes, that’s right. The tall gal from movies and comics and such, no? Bit cliched, isn’t it?”
“I was five when I saw the movies, Ish,” Meilani cut him off, giving him a mock stern look, “And yes, she was my personal hero for years, cliche or not. Besides, you’re one to talk about cliches and heroes, yours is like the biggest… wait, what’s he doing now?”
Phillip was gesturing the turning of a dial, still speaking calmly to the door.
“Now he’s asking us to turn off the door tint, I think,” Ishrat said, his voice curious, “We’re almost done, Mei. What do you think?”
“Yeah, why not?” Meilani shrugged casually, “We are almost done and the room is sealed otherwise, I don’t see the harm.”
Ishrat swiped down on his tablet and the door cleared. Phillip smiled and moved closer, looking between the two of them and still speaking conversationally. Meilani’s face dropped as she raised her arms slowly up to the glass. Ishrat poked his head under one arm and looked up at her with alarm.
“Mei, you alright?” he asked.
“Can you see what that scrawny ginger is saying?” Meilani asked her partner, “Did you catch that about a…”
Ishrat’s mouth worked as he watched Phillip’s mouth and interpreted his words, then his face dropped too.
“He says, ‘Get your magic lasso out and open the door.'” Ishrat said, shaking his head in disbelief, “‘You and Spidey are safe because the dose isn’t working on me.'”
“Can he hear us somehow?” Meilani’s voice was almost a low croak, “Is there a PA in there or something?”
“No, Mei, there’s no PA, you know that,” Ishrat answered, “He can’t hear us.”
“But I’ve never told anyone but my husband and you, Ishrat, ever,” she said, her voice rising.
“I… Mei…” Ishrat stammered, “I never told anyone but you. Ever.”